beware, beware
by Domenic
Summary: AU crossover fusion. Three glimpses of the wand and the ties it has. [Star Vs. the Forces of Evil, Gravity Falls, Wander Over Yonder]


**Title: beware, beware**

 **Fandom: Star Vs. the Forces of Evil/Gravity Falls/Wander Over Yonder**

 **Summary: AU crossover fusion. Three glimpses of the wand and the ties it has.**

 **A/N: Started writing this before "Dipper and Mabel Vs. the Future" and "The Good Bad Guy." Most relevant episodes are "Mewnipendence Day" from Star Versus the Forces of Evil, Ford's episodes from Gravity Falls pre-DaMVtF, and "The Wanders" from Wander Over Yonder. Now incorporates a small part from Gravity Falls' post-DaMVtF promos. An image from "Mewnipendence Day" inspired this fic.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Star Vs. the Forces of Evil, Gravity Falls, or Wander Over Yonder.**

 _i._

"Well, your home is toast," the dream god laughed, and poured the Mewni queen more tea.

She ignored the drink. "Please, I summoned you, to help—"

"Look, you wrecked it, you bought it, yadda yadda—not that I don't sympathize with decaying dimensions," the god said, tapping one wiry black hand on his chair's armrest. "Best I can do is point you to a new place, give you the keys."

The god waved a hand, and an image of a forested continent appeared. "I suggest trying your luck here."

"But where—?"

"Hold your horses, I'll give directions in a bit."

"And...'keys?' What did you mean by that, my lord?"

The wiry black hand moved for the god's equally black hat, and from within he pulled out a small scepter, topped with the triangular image of the god. But the scepter's triangle had no black hat, but rather a cross; and wings stretched on either side of the triangle. And the eye of the scepter's triangle only stared for a second, before closing and disappearing entirely.

"Go on, take it," the god said, and the queen accepted it. Then his voice took on a different tone, actually lowering and sounding grave. "I grant to you and your line, ruler of Mewni, this enchanted wand, that will grant all your dreams."

It sounded like he was casting a spell. Then the dream god laughed, settling back in his chair. "Let me run you through the specs for this thing before signing the contract—"

"Contract?"

The god lifted his hat again, pulling out a roll of parchment, and a quill pen. "Just some paperwork to take care of, demands to clarify, promises to make...now look, for now, the wand's gonna look like that, but it can change shape, got it? Good. And another thing about the wand...actually, quite a few things about it..."

The Mewni queen listened, grateful to Bill Cipher.

 _ii._

"...I'm running out of time," Ford said, checking the device on his wrist again. His next randomly programmed jump was approaching quickly.

The young reptilian monster dully stared back at the human, before returning his attention to the comrade that was his own species, wrapped in bandages and sweating profusely through his thick fur.

"Probably for the best. You might wind up someplace better," the young monster said, his claws dipping cloth in the cave stream again. He pulled it back out, wringing it slightly, then settled its cooled surface against the other monster's feverish forehead.

Ford stared at him, jaw clenched. "Toffee, there's nothing I can _do_ ; ever since Cipher put this blasted thing on me, I've been dragged across dimensions whenever it says, and it fries whatever powers Mewni's dimensional scissors, it won't _let_ them work for me—"

"You don't have to repeat yourself," Toffee said, taking a seat next to his patient rather than hovering over him. "Didn't mean to sound as if I were blaming you," the boy continued, his voice still sounding dull, hollow. "I just..." Finally Toffee's voice hesitated, and he gave a little shrug, starting to look dazed. "I was just making an observation."

Ford stared at him a moment more, before taking a breath and pulling out a dagger from his boot, and drawing it closer to the hand with the device bound around his wrist.

Toffee bolted up and sprang for the human, the blank expression on his face fully breaking—his yellow eyes had grown wide.

With his manacled hand, Ford raised his gun, aiming it for Toffee. The boy stumbled to a halt, but his claws were raised.

"Seriously," Toffee said. "Don't."

"I never could work up the nerve to _really_ try this," Ford said, his own voice turning dull.

"It probably won't work," Toffee reasoned, trying to keep his voice level. "You said it's from Cipher, and you always say he's powerful; why would he stick you with something that could be worked around through—"

"Dismemberment?" Ford said, and there was a slight manic edge to his voice now. The human noticed Toffee's tail do a nervous flick. "I dunno, kid, could be right up Cipher's alley; just waiting to see how long it'll take before I crack and try to take my hand off just to be rid of the damn thing—"

"That thing's your ticket out of here," Toffee snarled, his patience breaking. "C'mon, you wanted to leave as soon as you were dropped off here, remember? Any sane person would want out, at a time like this—who the _hell_ wants to be stuck during an invasion?!" Toffee's chest heaved, and his face was twisted with a growing anger.

But something seemed to snap in Ford. "Maybe I'm just sick of being pulled from dimension to dimension, never settling—"

"Is that really so bad?" Toffee shouted back. "Seeing different worlds—you might even find your home—"

Ford made a sudden move, and Toffee couldn't help it, he flinched—but the human just let the dagger fall, and he lowered his gun. "Don't. Just don't," Ford said, slumping down with a sigh. "Don't speak of my home dimension again."

"...Okay," Toffee said, then carefully took a seat next to the human.

They both stared at the other occupant hiding in the cave, breathing heavily and layered in bandages.

"I'm not sure if he'll make it," Ford quietly said.

"Lade will be fine," Toffee insisted too quickly.

"I don't want to leave you and the others like this." Ford said, looking up at the stone ceiling. "Not after everything that's...I _looked_ like your enemy, but you...for the most part, you've—you haven't...held it against me, in a manner of speaking—"

Toffee cut him off. "You're human, not Mewni; but...just forget it, you—you don't want to stay here." Toffee shook his head, eyes darting to the stained floor. "Trust me."

"Would you leave, if you could?" Ford asked. Then he gave a dark laugh. "You probably should. This...mess, really isn't a place for someone your age."

"I'm fourteen," Toffee reminded him, voice flat.

"My point exactly," Ford said, voice quieter.

The young monster grunted. "It's my home, of course I wouldn't—not like this," Toffee said, voice matter-of-fact. "Can't leave my home like this." Then he turned hesitant. "And you have...y'know...yours."

"You should really obey your elders, kid," Ford said, glancing to Toffee. But then he shook his head, eyes back to the ceiling, a hand running through his hair. "'Elder'—when did I become...haven't even completely gone gray yet..." The human's voice broke off, before resuming a new train of thought, his voice even quieter. "What if I want to give up? What if I want to build a new home?"

"I wouldn't recommend mine," Toffee said, voice souring. "Like you said...it's kinda of a mess right now."

"But it could be—"

A warning beep. The device.

"Damn it!" Ford snarled. Then he shoved the gun into Toffee's hands. "Take it—"

The young monster's eyes widened. "What—no, I can't, it's yours—"

"Half its energy's been depleted, so use it wisely," the human went on. "You've used it fine a couple of times before, it won't be any different in the future. Instructions on how to use it haven't changed. As always, be careful if it jams."

"Ford—"

"Toffee," the older human said, grabbing the boy's shoulders. "I know we, and no one else, could figure out how to exactly duplicate this weapon in your world, couldn't find the resources, an energy source that could work—you just have this. This is the only one. It might not do much, but it could be enough for something useful, and—just take it. I need you to take it."

The young monster shook his head. "What if the next dimension you get pulled to—what if it's like mine, and they don't have this kind of tech—then you've just lost it, there's no replacing it—"

Ford chuckled. "Next dimension, no guns? That might actually be nice."

Toffee glowered. "Not so nice here. Thought that was basically the case you were making?"

The human sighed. "Point taken." Ford squeezed Toffee's shoulders. "Please kid, just take it. Maybe after I'm gone, you'll find some way of replicating this technology."

The younger monster grumbled under his breath, but his claws tightened around the gun. "Only if you take my crossbow."

Ford looked like he was about to protest, but he noticed the look in Toffee's eyes. Seems he would have to compromise. "Deal," Ford finally said. "Bring it over here, I need to give you something else."

Toffee went to their small circle of supplies, picking up the crossbow and Ford's own pack. He went back to Ford, finding the human rifling through his long coat's pockets.

"Where are those blasted—?"

"Maybe in here?" Toffee asked, offering Ford his pack.

Ford exhaled gratefully, then searched his bag. Finally he pulled out sheets of paper, torn at the edges.

"Keep these pages, hold them as long as you can," Ford said, shoving these into Toffee's claws too. "Try to memorize them, if possible."

The boy remembered them; pages from Mewni reports Ford had gotten ahold of during one mission, while Toffee distracted the soldiers. How could he forget, these pages bore images of that damned wand, and battle records.

"Thank you," Toffee breathed, running his claw tip around all sides of the triangle that topped the wand in the drawing. Ford had always said that the Mewni's royal wand resembled Cipher. The boy then carefully folded the pages away and slipped them into his pocket.

Ford nodded, and handed Toffee the gun again. The boy took it, and gave the older man the crossbow. Ford swung the pack over his shoulder.

"Any minute now?" Toffee asked, his voice growing softer.

Ford pulled up his sleeve again, checking the device. "It's—"

The sounds of fighting approached, and in one hall leading into the cave, the light of approaching fire was visible, shadows of armored Mewni and monsters playing out on the walls.

"Help me get Lade behind some cover," Toffee immediately said, and between him and Ford, they carried the wounded monster into a crevice that was relatively well hidden.

"You should run, hide," Ford began to say, but Toffee shook his head, already lifting the gun.

"I'm not leaving Lade."

"We've hidden him, the Mewni won't find him; come back when they clear out and get him then—"

Toffee nodded his head to the noise of battle that drew closer. "If that's the rest of our team, or some other monsters, I have to help—"

"You have to survive," Ford snapped. He opened his mouth again, to say something more, argue something more—but the device on his wrist beeped again, and his very body began to flicker.

"This just means you're going, right?" Toffee asked, alarmed. It was unnerving to see the human flicker like this.

"Yes, it's— _damn it_!" Ford snarled, as the fight fully broke into their cave, Mewni and monsters spilling inside.

Toffee at least took cover as he began to fire his gun on the Mewni. Ford immediately took his place beside him, raising his crossbow—which finally lost all color, flickered and disappeared, along with his arms, and the rest of him would soon join them. Ford cursed again, hating the timing and the discomfort of being pulled to another dimension.

The next time the kid took fire, darting out from his cover to strike, an enchanted bolt of ice sliced through his shoulder, knocking him to the ground.

" _Toffee_!" Ford shouted, reaching for him—but then his vision spun, that familiar pulling sensation, that familiar rip through his core, and Ford was dropped into a desert, where he could already see buildings in the distance.

The human threw the crossbow down and cursed, for a long time. Then he sat down, head in his hands, for an even longer time. Finally he retrieved the crossbow, made sure it wasn't broken, then went to explore the nearby town, get his bearings, find a place to rest, and begin readjusting again. He would check his device's new timeline the next time he woke up. See how much time he had in this dimension.

###

Once home, Ford doubted he'd get to stay. But when Ford pulled his sleeve up, he found that the device ticked no more. It did not adhere anymore. Ford ripped it off, and frantically rubbed the part of his wrist he hadn't touched in ages. Cipher's device would not shift him across dimensions without his consent again.

Toffee's crossbow eventually went to Mabel, and even as Ford gave it up, he was amazed it had remained intact ever since...

Ford shoved the memories to the back of his mind. There was nothing he could do now—for so long he'd gone on knowing there was nothing he could do—though now that he was settled, maybe he could...but no, too dangerous to attempt interdimensional travel from this dimension at this point, what had he been telling Stan after all? And maybe maybe Toffee and the others were all right, maybe they got their home back, maybe they survived.

Maybe.

 _iii._

Folks call you Wander.

You've gone from place to place, and that is home; the journey, and Sylvia. Together with you, they make up a home.

It's a home that feels right now, that feels like it's grown naturally from your feet to your head. And it feels like it could be...consistent. You can always travel, you can always wander, you can always _be_ Wander—nothing and no one can stop that or take that away.

But you know, you had another home before.

And you know you were young when you first had it, and lost it, and that's part of why your memories of it are scrambled. Just the passage of time, making stuff harder to remember, the longer the gap there is in between first occurrence and your current state of mind.

But then there's also, well—

There was fire. Lots of fire. Tall knights made taller by the horned steeds they rode. A lady who dressed well, carrying a wand with wings and a cross and a triangle that sometimes opened an eye when it cast magic that could rain fire down, and other things.

You know, it's all a hurtful blur, that obscures and darkens. And on some level, you don't want to remember.

But the music you like to remember. Before the fire and knights and lady with her wand, you remember music on strings, harmonies aligned, dancing and drumming and trees all around. You remember being called "monster" without malice; it's just what you were, and what your family was, and your neighbors too.

When the fires and the knights and the wand and its lady came, they were gone, and you were alone. Helpless. You were helpless for a while. Long enough that even now, deep down, you wish the memory of it was gone.

Why, it was just months ago, in that strange cave with that strange crystal, there was your chance—to be free of that helplessness years ago, free of that memory and the feeling and the essence of it. Deep down, you don't want it. You don't. But the other parts of you know you need it, and Sylvia did too. They were right to make you whole, the good parts and the bad.

But still, it kinda stings, like some kinda splinter stuck underneath, or ash sticking to your fur.

You'd been helpless for a while when you were little and with everything and everyone burning around you. But you've grown into a helper, and other helpers have come before you—helpers found you eventually, grown-ups, your fellow monsters. You were so small, so difficult to find in the chaos, but they managed.

It didn't last, because fires still burned and there were still the knights and the wand, and back then, the grown-ups...they got even more scared, whispering about how the knights were trying to capture all the kids, and back then, that meant you. The grown-ups worried and fretted; you remember hearing them say the knights were taking the kids to be killed or eaten or used as ingredients in magical spells for the wand; or taking the kids to a place, and being changed, their insides and brains shifted around until they were very much unlike themselves, like walking ghosts.

There was one last fire you can remember. The knights and the grown-ups were fighting again. The knights were chasing you and other grown-ups. You remember one nice grown-up—a lady with five heads and fifteen eyes who always told you stories about the forest—stealing scissors from a knight, then cutting a hole through the air, and tossing you through.

And you were away from the fire and the knights and the wand, but there was no one else and you were alone. Helpless. Again.

You had been dropped off in a city, the very first place you wandered into, though for that first time it had never been your intention. And though it had been a city with no forests, you found it had its own beauty. The buildings had beautiful shapes and colors and were cool to the touch. The city could be ugly too, but still, it made its prettier parts all the more lovely.

And no helpers found you this time, but you know, you can be difficult to find, and in the end, you could look after yourself. And then you wandered, by no one's will but your own. And you've met so many people, various shapes and sizes...journeying and meeting them all feels like your first home, where your people were all wonderfully different.

And sure, as you've travelled, you wonder if you'll ever find your first home. You're fairly certain that by now all its trees have grown back, and what a lovely sight they'd be. But you're certain you'd know it when you saw it, and that hasn't happened yet. So. Maybe you'll never find it again, too little to know where it was when you first left, to little to really know what was going on at the time.

Though now you know: invasion, something Hater does a little of but you've been able to stop it in your own way with Sylvia's help, and Hater's never quite reached the intensity you remember from when you were little, Hater's never been like the sheer level of fire and the knights and the lady and her wand, and you know Hater has some good in him that could grow.

And now you _know_ : the triangle on the wand is staring right at you from this cave wall, though the actual wand is not pictured below it. It's even painted with the eye the wand's triangle sometimes had. You've wandered beneath this planet's blue dirt, and you feel electrified staring at these cave paintings.

You _could_ know: what was that wand, who was its lady, who were the knights, where had they all come from? Why had they invaded? The cave paintings have more than drawings; there are words too. They ask not to be read aloud, clear and vague in their warning all at the same time.

But you are curious. But someone took the time to essentially write down, "no, please don't do this."

You open your mouth, and hesitate.

 **A/N:**

 **On part i: Essentially theorizing/headcanoning for AU crossover that Bill Cipher created the wand Mewni royalty uses. The image of a wand with Bill's triangular imagery as pictured in a book from "Mewnipendence Day" sparked the idea. The wand's nature also solidified the idea for me: its magic seems rather chaotic, wildly dangerous, feeds off imagination, and in a way seems in line with making /dreams/ come true.**

 **On part ii: Ford's deal in canon still seems fuzzy to me, though I imagine future episodes will clarify it further. But the "Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons" episode did indicate that Ford has been to multiple dimensions, and I tried to indicate some answer to that. (But questions: How did Ford move to different dimensions without the portal device he made and was separated from? What alternative transport did he find? Did he look for his home dimension and couldn't find it, since there were probably many dimensions to search through? Stan activated the portal device to save him, but how could just activating it pull Ford home, how could that find Ford, presumably lost through many dimensions?) Ford's situation in this fic was inspired by "Sliders," a TV show I've heard of but haven't actually watched yet, and this DCAU fanfic "Amazon Stories" by Allaine.**

 **On part iii: "The Wanders" episode indicated something deeply traumatic happened in Wander's mysterous past; to the point that, when Wander was literally divided into different aspects of his personality, when given the chance to forget the part of himself that was helpless, that was hurt and traumatized, he /** _ **wanted**_ **/ to forget, even if that proved to be the most important part of himself and current role as a compassionate Helper. And last time I checked, no one's entirely sure of Wander's species. So I just theorized/headcanoned for AU crossover that as a child, Wander was one of the monsters under siege during the events surrounding the Great Monster Massacre (now commonly celebrated for Mewnipendence Day), and was essentially forced to flee through time and space via stolen dimensional scissors.**


End file.
